Lubans’ Mr. Prufrock and the Three Legged Dog – A Fable*

Posted by jlubans on August 11, 2020

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Rupert Prufrock, en masque, came through the Paint Store door carrying a 6” wide Purdy paintbrush and a dripping bucket of paint.
He was scowling, but you’d not know it since the mask covered up most of the Scowl
A devout Do-It-Yourselfer, the epidemic had kicked him into high gear with one fixer-upper project after another. His latest was painting a much-neglected Parlour.
A dog, less a Leg, name of Percy (the dog not the leg) Leered up at him, hoping for a cookie.
The Dog’s mask had slipped down to his neck. Rupert, a mask enforcer, was dismayed but not distracted, staying true to his mission.
He said to the Young Enterpriser behind the counter,
“I asked for Contractor Satin and you gave me Catalyzed Clear”.
“OK”, said the Young Enterpriser, a summa cum laude graduate of Sharp’s School of Sales (Neo-Golden Rule: Do onto others FIRST) “I can do this for you. I’ll only charge you $1 to recycle the Catalyzed paint, as required by the EPA, and then will give you a special deal on the Satin, for $24. How’z Zat?”
Expecting an even swap, Rupert was taken Aback and then some.
Befuddled – to Say the Least - he turned his Chagrin on the dog.
Rupert demanded the dog put on his mask. The Young Man shrugged and, said Lugubriously, “It is what it is” and slipped into the Backroom to get the Contractor Satin.
Returning, he found Rupert had dialed up the Sanitation Police and they were coming in the door, Guns drawn.
Percy, knowing better, took off between the Sanitizer’s legs and out the Open Door to freedom and was not seen again until dinnertime.
Rupert did get his paint and some satisfaction of having wiped the implicit grin off the Young Man’s Face. “Let this be a lesson to you!” exclaimed Rupert, slamming the store door.
Moral: A three-legged Dog gets off Free more often than a two-legged Customer.

*With apologies to George Ade.

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© Copyright John Lubans 2020

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