Getting Someone To Do What He Should Not Do

Posted by jlubans on June 05, 2019

Caption: Sign in rubbish chute at a college dorm, 8th floor.

IF you find yourself, in the wee hours, stumbling around the hallways of this high-rise college dorm, you might be inspired (perhaps inflamed) by the prohibitions listed herein.
As most of us know, the way to get someone to do something is to tell him - I would use her, but somehow methinks this needs be limited only to us guys - NOT to do it.
And, in case the hammered HEs need additional guidance for mischief, we’ll list out the Do Nots!
We want to be abundantly clear!
Namely, “throwing lighted matches, cigars or cigarettes,
carpet sweepings, Naphthalene camphor balls or flakes,
floor scrapings, oil soaked rags,
empty paint cans (full cans are OK?),
aerosol containers, or explosive substances (NOW you’re talkin’!)
into this chute (as if you needed to know where)
is unlawful and subjects the offender to a penalty.”
A veritable Rabelaisian listing of fun stuff for the stoned student or any potted person.
No worries about the carpet sweepings and floor scrapings (too much like work) but the others, when assembled and combined, will make for a hilarious BOOM out the rooftop.
Like Br’er Rabbit’s wily pleading: “Oh, Br'er Fox, go ahead and drown me then, just so long as you don't throw me into that briar patch!” this sign no doubt achieves the opposite of its intent.
Who do you think wrote this sign? A committee? The legal counsel for the Student Affairs office? With the reference to mothballs, someone from the 50s?

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© Copyright John Lubans 2019

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