Friday Fable. Lubans’ (à la George Ade*) Billy the Baker

Posted by jlubans on July 01, 2016

Once upon a time there was a Young Man who decided to do Something with his life. This was not a spontaneous Moment. No, his father put it to him, telling him it was time to pay Rent or move out.
So, Billy, as he was called, said he was going to the Tontine Baking School in a distant city. It was something, he said, he always wanted to do, although that was News to everyone.
Irregardless – yes, I know – the neighbors and his friends gave him a send off Party – gifts and all - and put him on the Express Train to the distant town, his parents waving Fervently.
Sue, his gal, was not all that keen on Billy’s leaving, but there was Harold who might be getting a job at the mill, so ….
After a while Billy came back. When would he start baking? he was asked. Well, it seems that Bakery School did not really work out. He’d had some Bad luck. He lost all his Money and someone stole his good clothes.
His dad, Lester, had a heart-to-heart talk with Billy and told him, “I’m sorry Bakery School did not work out, son. Rent’s due on the 15th.” Momma cried in the hall way and felt bad for her son.
Billy was inspired again. He said he no longer wanted to be a Baker; what he wanted to be was a Computer Technician; he sure knew a lot about Gaming, Hacking and Spamming, etc, so announced he was headed to school again, this time to the Garfunkel School of Cyber Technology in Des Moines.
Well, it was time for another send-off party and everyone gave it their best, albeit a bit begrudging. They knew Billy was glued to his Computer, so maybe, just maybe he’d find his Role in life. After a big Party, more gifts and send-off speeches Billy took the train to Des Moines. Nothing was heard from him for several months and then one night he was back in town. Well, things had not gone as planned, etc.
Dad Lester was not Pleased, having footed the Bill for the Bakery School and for the School of Cyber Technology. Mom was happy to see Billy but wondered about his Appetite and not cleaning up after Himself.
After a few Weeks, Lester asked Billy for the Rent and Billy said he had really found a career – this time he was going to go off and become a
Phlebotomist and get a degree at the nearby Leech Institute for Phlebotomy.
No farewell party this time, Billy snuck off on the late Train. Halfway, an Airplane crashed into the train and the airline compensated the Survivors each a million dollars. Billy, a Survivor, put his money in the bank, and no one ever again asked him about his life ambitions. He no longer lives with Lester and Momma; they live with Billy (and Sue) on the Lake in a Mansion with a fulltime Housekeeper. Everyone admires Billy, especially around gift giving holidays.

Moral. Sometimes flunking out of Bakery School is a good thing.

*George Ade information here.

© Copyright John Lubans 2016
« Prev itemNext item »


No comments yet. You can be the first!

Leave comment