My blog on a star performer( in my eyes) who morphed into an alienated follower (AF), has me reflecting on how that happened. How did someone I valued and relied upon turn into an oppositional follower?
Answering that question took me back to my “I quit!” blog of a few years ago.*
Was it me or was it a personal crisis? There’s little point in listing out the examples of the former star’s unhappiness; let’s look instead at options for the AF, and, for that matter, for me, when relationships get shaky. In every career, there comes a time to ask yourself, “Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”
Let’s hope it is obvious for you to stay (you are beloved). If not, there are ways to leave. I’ll include in quotes a few lines from Paul Simon’s, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (employer) and a couple made up by me.
A few who decide to go, pull it off – leaving and landing on their feet. Some of us aren’t so lucky.If we decide to stay, it can be a gamble; a very good decision or one debilitating to health and career.
What to do?
One writer on this topic, listed out the “handwriting(s) on the wall” (in bold type) that you are about to get sacked, terminated, axed, canned, bounced, pink-slipped, RIFed, or excessed. You get the idea?
Those Inauspicious Indicators:
“You’re Not Getting Time Off” – you’re working more and enjoying life less.
And, “Your Company’s Future Looks Bleak” – well yeah, if you are losing market share and no one’s buying what you are selling; “Hop on the bus, Gus.”
And, “Your Workplace Is A Revolving Door” – everyone but you is leaving. Why are you staying? Worse for you, the replacements are jerks. “Just slip out the back, Jack”.
And, “You might want to quit if your” boss is demeaning,…, or maybe clients are abusive….” Or, if your boss is a jerk – only looking out for number one; he or she uses your ideas, your achievements and rarely gives you credit.
And, it may be that Trust and Honesty are featured in the company Values statement, but not practiced.
If you are having to deal with whispers, shadows and perfumed daggers, “Hit the road, Rhoda.”
One of my own reasons to vamoose was that “Your network is unraveling”.
You are no longer invited to lunches, you are left out of meetings, and, micromanaged. When you ask former allies, What’s up? The answer is a mumbled something, and zero intervention, no saying, I’ll check on that. And, no one is telling you it’s over. That former, easy cloak of bonhomie has slipped off and those amigos of yore know on which side their’s is buttered.
Instead you find a silent acquiescence to whatever is going on. “You’re on your own, Joan” If you were once a star, now you find yourself passive and reluctant to contribute ideas, a quiet quitter. And, you may be slip-sliding into the land of the alienated follower.
Even if you are not passively or actively undermining the new leadership, is that where you want to be?
All your positives (improvements, innovations, major achievements, fiscal gains, your stellar reputation) appear diminished, if not disappeared from the organizational record.
Something has changed. If your network is not telling you, then “Make a new plan, Stan.”
Another one from the list of hints: “You’re On High Alert”. If “You are persistently in a state of fear of angering someone or of doing a task incorrectly” it may be time to fly the coop. If that’s you, “You don’t need to be coy, Roy. Shades of my Tom the Turkey’s Tale.
Another one from the list: “You’re Just Not Good At It, (anymore)”
For me, this was “plateau-ing”; that is, the challenges are gone, the dragon’s been slain and the fair maiden won. We’ve become risk-averse, unimaginative. Lacking urgency, we’re tradition bound in responding to challenges, almost always delaying or referring decisions.
When lunch becomes the thing you look forward to each day, “don’t you come back no more, no more”.
It’s time to reflect, even if it is too late for the job you are in and soon to lose:
What do you want?
What’s missing?
Where do you want to be in two years?
What makes you happy?
Why is the job so blah?
If the answers point to the door, then, yes, time to go.
Uncertainty is no reason not to take the first step; destinations once begun reveal themselves, often better than the one you are leaving.
*I wrote on this topic in early 2022, “I quit!”. Today’s blog is an extensive revision.
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My book, Fables for Leaders, all about how ancient stories apply to today’s workplace, can be purchased here. The link will take you to BookBaby, the company that prints and fills orders for Fables for Leaders.
My other book, Leading from the Middle, with essays on team building, followers, leaders, innovation and several case studies of exceptional leaders and organizations, can be purchased here at Amazon.
N.B. For other essays on numerous topics on leadership and literature and fables go to my Nucleus archive from 2010-early 2025.
@Copyright all text by John Lubans, 2022 & 2026