I like to think that these stories, drawn from personal experience, are isolated examples of our very human blind spots, those moments when we cannot see what others can. And if could see ourselves as others see us, we might want to do something different.
Or, are these examples of jerky behavior? Jerk may be too harsh a term since it implies an irreconcilable character flaw, not just a blind spot or two.
Do the bumptious suffer from blind spots? Of course. Few of us, even the bumptious, were literally “raised in a barn” as the cliché goes, so is it nature or nurture? Since evolutionary science suggests that cooperating with others is in our DNA, I suspect “nurture”.
Repeated viewings of a behavior by peers or elders inculcates that behavior. If the impressionable see others behaving as if other people are invisible, then why not?
Hal, Emma and Fredo would have done well to remember their lessons from kindergarten: share, do not take other people’s things without permission, practice the golden rule, behave responsibly, etc.
Hal, the Petulant**
I worked with Hal. In his thirties, he held a responsible professional position and was regarded by his peers, in spite of a pugnacious aspect, as a competent member of the staff.
One day Hal told me what happened to him after a late-night sporting event in a distant city.
Following the game, Hal went to his parked car to find his battery stolen.
Now, what would you do in this case?
Probably what most of us would do.
But not Hal. He noticed the car parked behind him was of the same make, and he proceeded to filch that car’s battery.
I assume he drove contentedly home.
Maybe, since he told me what he had done, he was not all that certain he’d done the right thing.
But, when I expressed astonishment (You did what?), he denied he had done anything wrong. He assumed – most cynically – that everyone else would do the same.
Emma, the Self Centered.
Emma owned an unfinished condominium (apartment). One is not allowed for numerous safety, hygienic, and liability reasons to occupy an unfinished condo.
This rule, Emma was convinced, did not apply to her.
She used her condo almost on a daily basis, filling the space with a variety of furniture. No toilet, no worries. No electricity? Run an extension cord into the hall and steal it.
The Home Owners Association (other owners in the building) told her more than once to stop.
After somee years, the city building inspectors ordered her to cease and desist and gave her two weeks to move out all of her things and start construction or sell.
Presumably, there would be serious consequences if she flaunted the city inspector’s finding.
When someone moves and ties up the elevator the HOA suggests they post notes with a phone number to call to ask to release the elevator.
On the day of the move, Emma posted nothing.
The next day she assured the head of the HOA that “No one was inconvenienced!”
And she added that she had prepared the contact information notes but had left them at home.
In other words, preparing the notes but leaving them at home was just about as good as posting the notes.
So, I wrote a note to the HOA president – who had long endured Emma’s mercurial ways – telling him I had bought a bottle of 20 year old Scotch whiskey to give him in appreciation but I drank it.
Emma’s Edict: Intention to do something is the same as doing it.
Fredo, the Audacious.
I was once a part of loosely organized guy’s group made up of work colleagues and other friends.
Fredo was in the latter.
One day, after work, we gathered in a city park for a volleyball game.
Fredo, brought along a beer cooler. The city prohibits alcohol in its parks – there was a sign stating so next to where we had set up the net. Fredo drank a beer and one or two others may have joined in. I did not.
A policeman, driving past, noted the beer cooler and stopped. He asked, “Who’s beer?”
When Fredo admitted it was his, he got a ticket.
The next day each of us heard from Fredo asking to help pay his ticket.
I did not chip in.
***************
My book, Fables for Leaders, about how ancient stories apply to today’s workplace, can be purchased here. The link will take you to BookBaby, the well established and reputable company that prints and fills orders for Fables for Leaders.
My other book, Leading from the Middle, with essays on team building, followers, leaders, innovation and several case studies of exceptional leaders and organizations, can be purchased here at Amazon.
N.B. For other essays on numerous topics on leadership and literature and fables go to my Nucleus archive from 2010-early 2025.
© Copyright all text by John Lubans 2020 & 2026
*Revision of a blog published December 04, 2020
**Of Paying it Backward infamy, Hal gets a second turn. Sadly, some years after I’d gone to another organization. colleagues from Hal’s organization told me he had taken his life.