Sometime ago, the Media Lab at MIT worked on something called the Jerk-O-Meter app. No, it was not something to alert American tourists talking too loudly, or to set off an electric alarm when someone’s smoking a cigar in an elevator .
No, too bad, nothing like that.
Rather the J-O-M was to listen in on your yakking with someone and to signal whether you (and eventually the person at the other end) were paying attention to the conversation. The app would message you: “Stop being a jerk!” or “Wow, you’re a smooth talker!” depending on your degree of jerkitude.
Alas, the J-O-M never lifted off.
However, some progress is been made in understanding jerkiness, jerkitude, or how jerks come into being.
It is not a new topic for me, for some inexplicable reason. Here are few of my memorable excursions into the jerk-domain.
“Of Jerks, Bozos, Dorks, Fatheads, Nincompoops, Dunderheads, Twerps, Bamboozlers, Fakers, Hornswogglers, et al.”
“Genius and/or “Competent Jerk”?”
“Gender in the Workplace: Getting to Effective Teamwork”
“Weird at Work.”
And more recently, an essay on The Bumptious Among Us.
Just revisiting the topic populates my mind with instances of jerk behavior. Indeed, under some circumstances, I’m the jerk.
But, usually it is other people’s jerkiness that I sputter about.
I can rattle off example after example, as can the reader:
– My directional question at a Paris airport – in English – being dismissed with a Gallic lifting of the shoulders, a shrug signaling, “Who cares?”
– The Dean of a University office lambasting me on his speakerphone in front of his students for some screw up that was his fault. I suspect the students knew he was a jerk.
– To show that widespread jerkiness can be ameliorated, there’s the NYC subway stationmaster colorfully cursing me – a clueless out-of-towner – for asking about the subway fare. But, when NYC was near bankruptcy, the subway staff almost always responded in helpful and courteous ways and never with a muttered, “Go to hell!”
Whence jerkitude? What motivates, inspires the jerks among us? One’s jerk may be a hero to another. Some celebrate the political bureaucrat who undermines an opposing faction’s effort.
And, the jerk who “Destroys People’s Selfie Sticks with a Branch Cutter in NYC” (if not a phony story) might be viewed as a quixotic hero by many. I recall a t-shirt on a sailor in Belize emblazoned with “Go F*** Your Selfie!” In that case who’s the jerk? The guy wearing the shirt or the guy filming himself on the beach with a 3-foot extension on his smart phone.
One researcher is exploring what is defined, vulgarly, by the Oxford Dictionaries’ as a “dickhead”. In other words, “a stupid, irritating, or ridiculous person, particularly a man.” Hmm, why are jerks often men?
In two articles, the researcher Eric Schwitzgebel guides us to a better understanding of jerkiness. His articles explore the finer points:
“A theory of jerks: Are you surrounded by fools? Are you the only reasonable person around? Then maybe you’re the one with the jerkitude.”
And, “How to Tell If You’re a Jerk: If you think everyone around you is terrible, the joke may be on you.”
Dr. Schwitzgebel suggests there is a jerkiness continuum; the extreme jerk at one end and the sweetheart at the other.
Where are you on the continuum?
His definition: “To be a jerk is to be ignorant in a certain way—ignorant of the value of others, ignorant of the merit of their ideas and plans, dismissive of their desires and beliefs, unforgiving of their perceived inferiority.”
As for the sweetheart: “… habitually alert to the needs and interests of others, solicitous of others’ thoughts and preferences, liable in cases of conflict to suspect that the fault might lie with them rather than with the other party.”
It comes down to this, your regard for others. “It is your basic moral comportment toward the people around you.” The jerk has zero or low regard and the sweetheart has 95% or more. Perhaps it’s something to do with a deficiency in EQ, emotional intelligence?
A certified jerk may be unwilling or even unable to see his/her jerkiness. “What? Me a jerk? Never!” When things go off the rails, it is never his or her fault. In Latvia – where I am this summer – there’s an expression often heard on Riga city streets when a recklessly speeding scooter nearly collides with a pedestrian: Pats vainīgs! (“It’s your own fault!”)
So, how do you, a wise leader, deal with jerkitude?
*Note: This is a do-over of a previous blog on the topic from a decade ago:“Fifty Shades of Jerkiness”
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My book, Fables for Leaders, all about how ancient stories apply to today’s workplace, can be purchased here. The link will take you to BookBaby, the company that prints and fills orders for Fables for Leaders.
My other book, Leading from the Middle, with essays on team building, followers, leaders, innovation and several case studies of exceptional leaders and organizations, can be purchased here at Amazon.
N.B. For other essays on numerous topics on leadership and literature and fables go to my Nucleus archive from 2010-early 2025.
© Copyright all text John Lubans 2016 & 2026