An A.D.T. (American District Telegraph) Kid carrying a Death Message marked “Rush” stopped in front of a Show Window containing a Picture of James J. Jeffries (a champion boxer) and began to weep bitterly. A kind-hearted Suburbanite happened to be passing along on his Way to the 5:42 Train. He was carrying a Dog Collar,…
George Ade
Ade’s THE FABLE OF THE PROFESSOR WHO WANTED TO BE ALONE or How to Keep Your Head in the Clouds and Your Feet on the Ground
“NOW it happens that in America a man who goes up hanging to a Balloon is a Professor. One day a Professor, preparing to make a Grand Ascension, was sorely pestered by Spectators of the Yellow-Hammer Variety, who fell over the Stay-Ropes or crowded up close to the Balloon to ask Fool Questions. They wanted to…
Ambrose Bierce’s, The Wolf and the Feeding Goat*
A Wolf saw a Goat feeding at the summit of a rock, where he could not get at her. “Why do you stay up there in that sterile place and go hungry?” said the Wolf. “Down here where I am the broken-bottle vine cometh up as a flower, the celluloid collar blossoms as the rose,…


