The Members of a Legislature, being told that they were the meanest thieves in the world, resolved to commit suicide. So they bought shrouds, and laying them in a convenient place prepared to cut their throats. While they were grinding their razors some Tramps passing that way stole the shrouds. “Let us live, my friends,”…
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce’s “The Grasshopper and the Ant”
One day in winter a hungry Grasshopper applied to an Ant for some of the food which they had stored. “Why,” said the Ant, “did you not store up some food for yourself, instead of singing all the time?” “So I did,” said the Grasshopper; “so I did; but you fellows broke in and carried…
Ade’s THE FABLE OF THE PROFESSOR WHO WANTED TO BE ALONE or How to Keep Your Head in the Clouds and Your Feet on the Ground
“NOW it happens that in America a man who goes up hanging to a Balloon is a Professor. One day a Professor, preparing to make a Grand Ascension, was sorely pestered by Spectators of the Yellow-Hammer Variety, who fell over the Stay-Ropes or crowded up close to the Balloon to ask Fool Questions. They wanted to…
Ambrose Bierce’s “The Party Manager and the Gentleman”*
While reading Senator John Kennedy’s book, “How to Test Negative for Stupid” (2025) I harked back to Bierce’s biting commentary on American politicians. Bierce had no use for fools, so he would have been delighted to meet Mr. Kennedy, an Oxford graduate, a native of Louisiana and a top notch lawyer. Mr. Kennedy tells, in…
Bierce’s Philosophers Three fable*
A Bear, a Fox, and an Opossum were attacked by an inundation. “Death loves a coward,” said the Bear, and went forward to fight the flood. “What a fool!” said the Fox. “I know a trick worth two of that.” And he slipped into a hollow stump. “There are malevolent forces,” said the Opossum,…
Ambrose Bierce’s, The Wolf and the Feeding Goat*
A Wolf saw a Goat feeding at the summit of a rock, where he could not get at her. “Why do you stay up there in that sterile place and go hungry?” said the Wolf. “Down here where I am the broken-bottle vine cometh up as a flower, the celluloid collar blossoms as the rose,…




