An Immodest Proposal

Posted by jlubans on October 23, 2024

20241023-usewallace-fjm.jpg


It's been a while since my last essay.
In a dry spell, some suggest turning to AI.
But, I derive satisfaction from writing my own words, from creating in my head and transferring to e-paper.
I've used AI to recast something I've written, but to ask it to take a pile of my raw words and to make it sensible just ain't playing the game nor is the product worth reading.
Anyway, I am back.

You can blame Edgar Wallace* (or my reading too many action hero comic books in my youth) for what I have been thinking lately.
When I first read Wallace?\'s Four Just Men (1905) I was intrigued and tantalized. The story is about four wealthy men who form a secret society dedicated to executing prominent public figures they deem corrupt or harmful. In other words, vigilante justice, Dirty Harry, maybe Philip Marlowe but more likely Mike Hammer.
Of late, I've been bemused by the hapless impotence of governments, law enforcement, and private agencies to deal with criminal hackers - located in distant (and often hostile) lands - who insinuate malware and lock up, e.g. hospital data centers, and demand ransom. Unless you pay the ransom, your system stays locked and harms countless individuals.
While there's much hand wringing by authorities, the hackers dirty work eludes the law with impunity - there's complicity (backscratching) between the local government and the hackers including, more than likely sharing in the plunder.
Our hands are tied, whine the authorities because we, unlike the hackers and their sponsors, respect and abide by rules for sovereign nations even when that nation permits evil behavior.
These hackers are overtly criminal - eating Cheetos in your raggedy underwear while e-kidnapping hospital data should qualify one for that designation - so why not form an extrajudicial action group, akin to the Four Just Men, to detect, counter, and eliminate these extortionists?
And, along the way, steal their keys to offset their malware.
First, do something straight out of an Edgar Wallace book.
Nail a forewarning, to their physical front door(s). Word it something like one of Wallace's lurid book jackets:
Unless you stop, We shall have no other course to pursue but to fulfill our promise. You will die at Eight in the Evening.
Once read, I imagine more than a little consternation among the perps. How did they find me/us? Who put up the note? Where's our protection? I'm busy at 8, can I re-schedule?
If the forewarning is ignored, the action force can either do the Four Just Men thing or exercise other options.
Such as?
First, expose and humiliate the hackers - publish their mug shots. They wear dark glasses and hoodies for a reason.
Intercept and disrupt the hackers local source of electric power. Then, super charge the current and fry their hardware - a la certain exploding pagers - including refrigerators, tvs and wall clocks and their George Foreman Panini Presses.
Step two: Identify and confiscate their e-assets.
As well, sanction in painful ways, their corrupt enablers. Fry their home appliances; the lady of the house will make a forceful point far beyond an embargo on their bank account.
If to no avail, then unleash the final option. A particularly colorful way - like a Bruce Willis pic- would involve precise and explosive drones!

*Edgar Wallace (1875-1932) was a prolific British writer known for his sensational detective, gangster, and adventure stories. His first major success came with ?The Four Just Men? (1905).

Next blog: Wanted: A Few Good People. How to Implement Elon Musk's proposed Government Productivity Council, starting - with urgency - Internet Access for Rural Areas and Electric Charger networks.

Copyright all text John Lubans 2024.

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